I'm pretty sure they aren't from Baltimore though...
22
So lately we've become that mean couple on the block. You know... the one that hates kids and threatens to lock them in a cage and eat them? Yes. That's us. Mostly. Except I don't want them in my house and they're too full of chips and soda to be any kind of healthy eating. But anyway, I swear to god that if that girl keeps bouncing her ball in front of our house while I'm trying to relax, I'm going to rip her head off and smash it into the pavement.
yeah, probably.
So far it's just been "Why don't you go do that in front of YOUR house?" as she runs off to tell her crackwhore momma on me. I can see it now. "That white lady mean to me!" Yeah, well, if you'd STEP OFF we wouldn't have this problem, now would we? I mean, COME ON. The park is TWO BLOCKS AWAY. We live two blocks from one of the largest parks in Baltimore, where they rightly put a fence around the children's playground because Baltimore's children do belong in cages.
And if you touch that tree again I'm going to rip your arms off and put them next to your skull in the pavement to make a nice skull and cross bones because I am a Pirate* afterall. ARGGH. I've been annoyed enough that the children on my block have killed SIX of the eleven trees planted last June, but now they are hellbent on ripping the one in front of my house out of the ground. And I'm not going to stand for it. NO HOW NO WAY. If I could paint a sticky substance on the tree without hurting it, I would. For now they just shake and shake and shake and I want to do the same to them. I did not cut a hole in the basement wall so I could reach the outside faucet supply line cut off in order to water the trees last summer so those brats could kill it because they don't have anything better to do.
Did I not mention the park????
So we're praying for rain these days while I've been hoping for sun for so long. Why can't they stay inside and play their video games like suburban kids?
*True, I'm a Pirate, class of 1999. I won't tell you the school though. Just know that we form hooks with our hands and say "ARRRRRR".
So lately we've become that mean couple on the block. You know... the one that hates kids and threatens to lock them in a cage and eat them? Yes. That's us. Mostly. Except I don't want them in my house and they're too full of chips and soda to be any kind of healthy eating. But anyway, I swear to god that if that girl keeps bouncing her ball in front of our house while I'm trying to relax, I'm going to rip her head off and smash it into the pavement.
yeah, probably.
So far it's just been "Why don't you go do that in front of YOUR house?" as she runs off to tell her crackwhore momma on me. I can see it now. "That white lady mean to me!" Yeah, well, if you'd STEP OFF we wouldn't have this problem, now would we? I mean, COME ON. The park is TWO BLOCKS AWAY. We live two blocks from one of the largest parks in Baltimore, where they rightly put a fence around the children's playground because Baltimore's children do belong in cages.
And if you touch that tree again I'm going to rip your arms off and put them next to your skull in the pavement to make a nice skull and cross bones because I am a Pirate* afterall. ARGGH. I've been annoyed enough that the children on my block have killed SIX of the eleven trees planted last June, but now they are hellbent on ripping the one in front of my house out of the ground. And I'm not going to stand for it. NO HOW NO WAY. If I could paint a sticky substance on the tree without hurting it, I would. For now they just shake and shake and shake and I want to do the same to them. I did not cut a hole in the basement wall so I could reach the outside faucet supply line cut off in order to water the trees last summer so those brats could kill it because they don't have anything better to do.
Did I not mention the park????
So we're praying for rain these days while I've been hoping for sun for so long. Why can't they stay inside and play their video games like suburban kids?
*True, I'm a Pirate, class of 1999. I won't tell you the school though. Just know that we form hooks with our hands and say "ARRRRRR".